Is your sensory sensitive kid grossed out by maternal kisses? It’s so hard in our culture not to pucker up and plant a big sloppy kiss on the babes we love! Top of the head, forehead, cheek, lips, toseys – I wanted to express my love, my total devotion, by kissing him all over.

Alas, he was less than enthused. In fact, the idea of kisses grossed my Asperger’s son out at about the age of four. Read the rest of this entry »

Our ranch lost a dear four-legged friend last week; Tally the rescued Quarter Horse died unexpectedly in the night. We’d known her for almost four years. She was the rock, the beginner’s merry-go-round-horse that always behaved. Her welcoming nicker made us feel like we belonged.

I got the text just after drop off and had to decide when and how to tell my Aspie son. Read the rest of this entry »

Angels come in many forms. One flew into my life recently when I admitted that I’m a willing participant when my teens request backrubs and foot massages. Do you know what my angel told me?

My angel pointed out that teens are more likely to turn to each other for intimate physical attention if they aren’t getting enough physical stimulation in safe, loving environments! She strongly advocated appropriate touching within the family unit Read the rest of this entry »

I identify with my children. They are mine; I admit to living vicariously. I internalize their pain, I suffer their humilities, I rejoice in their victories.

A brief encounter made me question the healthfulness of identifying so completely with my children.

So there was this amazing woman who when introducing herself at a table of like-minded wine aficionados, described her many endeavors without mentioning her two under-ten year old children (they came up later). I suspected we were all Read the rest of this entry »

We devoured the Harry Potter books as they came out over the last decade and I wanted to share one of the “teaching moments” that I came up with after reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets out loud for the 3rd time.

I mention the number of times I read the books out loud to highlight the familiarity my son had with the storyline and characters. For Asperger’s children who are not so literary-bent, who prefer the movie genre, the lesson might not be as Read the rest of this entry »

Years before I had even heard of Asperger’s Syndrome, I happened upon the concept of teaching Sign Language to pre-verbal toddlers. Certainly every first-time parent marvels at the obvious understanding that young children display at understanding language before they can speak it.

Pre-kids, I remember watching a 14 month old boy follow instructions to fetch his shoes from the closet, even going back Read the rest of this entry »

Face it. Aspergers kids don’t fit in very well. They over think things, they talk too slow or too fast, they might twitch or have funny routines, and they’re missing the critical sense of social timing. One thing that can have a huge impact in making their lives seem a little more normal is sports.

The hardest part is identifying a sport that they’ll take to! My twelve year old still can’t ride a bike …. And we know of Read the rest of this entry »

Who’s the Teacher, the Parent or the Child?

Yesterday there was an opportunity during a heart to heart conversation with my pre-teen Asperger’s son to break the news to him that his favorite teacher of all time might not return to the school. It should have been filmed for a documentary on how parents can learn from their children!

My Asperger’s boy is very emotionally sensitive. I don’t really know if that comes with the territory – you know, sensory integration syndrome, not so in synch with others but very introspective, wears his emotions on his sleeves, or if he’s unique. But I bet the high intelligence leads many AS kids to try and deal with complex emotional states cerebrally. Read the rest of this entry »

How to Parent Asperger’s Syndrome Children

School is just around the corner! I swear I saw back to school supplies at the store yesterday. It’s not even July 4th and Classic Crayola Crayons are taking over the aisles.

Even though I wanted to bury my head in my hands and sob – I rather like the unstructured calendar of the summer and I definitely like the lower driving requirements – I pondered, like Pooh Bear, and said “Hmm, what can I do to prepare for school?”

They keep growing, you know. What worked last year isn’t going to work this year. I think it’s important to determine your own Parenting Philosophy, recognizing, of course, that it needs to evolve and develop along with your child. Read the rest of this entry »

A mom at an airport asked me for advice on her live-at-home 30-year-old Asperger’s son; What could he do for an income? Where could she go for help?

Isn’t that a deep fear? That your brainy, quirky, blunt, socially awkward kid will grow up to find that he doesn’t  fit in any career? That you will be responsible for him forever?

I can only speak for my guy, but I’m sure the same way on surveys that I represent several hundred thousand other women like me, he represents several hundred thousand kids like him! And he is going to do fine because we have access to the internet, support systems, and a world beginning to capitalize on his strengths and not penalize him for being different.

But he IS different and it’s not going to be a shoe in. There are three key things to do NOW, start TODAY, regardless of your child’s age, that will make a critical difference in his or her future.

3 CRITICAL THINGS TO DO Read the rest of this entry »